Thursday, June 11, 2009

Ah, Heck

This mother thing is hard.  Just when I think I've got the little bugger figured out she goes and changes everything.

For example, last week she would nap for two to three hours solid.  This gave me the opportunity to shower and do laundry, or whatever.  However, this week she only wants to nap if she is on me.  As long as I'm holding her she's willing to sleep, which means I don't relax.  By the time my poor husband gets home I'm so... shall we say "exhausted" that all I want to do is hand her over and eat something.  

Because it's very difficult to eat when you're holding a baby.

Also, that last couple of days, after I've managed to grab time to shower, she cries as soon as I'm out.  So I rush to get her, feed her, and then she spits up between my gargantuan boobs.  Seriously, I cannot emphasize enough how large this things are.  And, now, apparently, they are always covered in milk or spit up.  

All I can say, for all of those who are contemplating having a baby -- think about how dirty that little thing will make you.  It will barf on you, aim its poop at you (I've been hit multiple times), pee on you (she peed on me the other day before we got into the bath tub), and I'm sure there are other substances she's saving for later.  

Sure, she looks all innocent, but in reality she's just waiting for the right moment when my guard is down.  Take right now -- I put her in her crib because she was NAPPING.  Now, I can hear her, she's hanging out.

At least she's doing it quietly.


2 comments:

baroquepopradio said...

I feel your pain - whenever my baby boys were ready for a nap so was I.

Mindy said...

burp, barf, fart, poop, and other projectile unpleasantness. It's what JGR does best right now. she's just trying to practice her talents ;' ) I think when I'm a mother I'm going to out fit our bathtub with and easy boy recliner so I can just continously spray us off as we go through the feed,barf,poop cycles of the day... I think it might save on laundry...