But I don't wanna

Productivity is a thing that comes and goes for me lately.  I either want to or I don't.  The motivation is there or it isn't.

It makes me very moody, mainly because I like getting things done.  The last couple of weeks I've been working on my quilt, and amazingly enough I have the top and bottom done, all I have to do now is lay them out with the batting and baste it all together.

Easy, right?

Except that I am making a queen size quilt and there isn't a queen size space in my house to lay it out and baste it (I want to make sure I get everything even).  Why not do it outside on the  grass?

Because of the freakin' wind, rain, snow, and periodic hail.

Bah!

Unfortunately, I'm a little crazy.  Since I have set my sights on getting the quilt basted (loosely sewn together) it's very difficult for me to move on to something else (like making that doll for the upcoming family reunion my mom asked for).

(I should also mention that there is a folding table at Costco that I have decided I can't live without, and since I don't have it yet it is hard to start making something...  because, having it would make making something so much easier.)  

Usually when I come to this type of creative precipice I throw up my hands and watch yet another episode of Angel on Netflix.  But today, I had Glee recorded and laundry to fold, and in order to allow myself to watch Glee I had to fold the laundry.

Do I sound nuts to you yet?

So, while I was not creatively productive today, I was housewife productive.

And as soon as I buy myself that table, I will be otherwise productive as well.

Craft Therapy

*Warning* Please be aware that some swearing follows... mainly because I feel like it, and also, swears are just words.  However, I do know that some of you feel offended or hurt by four-letter words, so please feel free to stop reading here and for this post find another blog to read to procrastinate whatever it is that you are procrastinating.  Oh, and thanks for reading.

Oh.  My.  God.

You GUYS!

I love fabric.

I love the feel of it, the colors, the possibilities!

And, a small apology for my poor me, bitchy post previously.  I needed to get some stuff off my chest, obviously.  And, anytime my schedule (the real word I'm looking for starts with a T, but for the life of me I cannot grasp it!) changes, I get anxious.  As if the whole world just crumbled and I'm standing in the middle, looking around as if it's my duty to put it all back together.

Dude, if Humpty couldn't put himself back together... wait, my analogy is getting lost even on me...so.  What I'm trying to say is that I am crazy at times, and I need to learn to weather them better.

Which is why craft therapy is such a freaking gift.  Also, that part of my brain that was with-holding my creative impulse finally turned on again - but for only one thing.

A quilt.

You should know that I've really only made one blanket, never a quilt.  The only reason I feel the compulsion to approach such a task is because of the queen size quilt batting I bought (hoarded) some... seven or eight years ago.

Yes.  YEARS.  I know how that sounds.

I haven't made a quilt in all that time because the math of it all escapes me.  I can think of designs (sort of) but the logic of putting it together confuses the hell out of me.  Then I get pissed off.  Then I quit.

Because, I am a quitter.  Usually an angry one (as you may have observed from my many complaints on this blog).

But I finally resolved to make something simple simple, something even a math simpleton like myself may be able to approach.

I will try to post photo's as I go, but you all know how good I am at that.  I'm just hoping I don't do something in the middle of it to irritate me and make me quit.

Because, like I stated before, I am a quitter.

And now I'm going to go enjoy some Angel.  Because I love David Boreanaz and Joss Whedon.

Considerations

I am much better at making/creating things when I have due dates, or a reason.  I also don't like to have my creations staring at me for months, I like it better when they are gone.

Therefore, I am considering reopening my etsy shop.  Yes, I had one years ago, and for many reasons I closed it.

However, I feel I might do a better job of making toys if I knew I had to fill up a shop to get people interested, to get them to buy things.

And also to pay student loans.  Because I am doing such a good job of using my degree right now.

What do you think people would be interested in?  Monsters, dolls, Testy Chickens?  Or should I just start making and see what happens?

Eh?


Eh?


Eh?

New Years Funk

Without meaning to I fell into a bit of a funk.  I was on a forced creative high before Christmas, trying to get things done, but it only takes one failure (stupid doll dress) for me to throw my hands up in the air and say to hell with it.

For my sanity's sake, making things keeps me emotionally healthy and happy.  So, now that I'm not making anything, or haven't figured out what to do with myself while JG is napping, I'm watching far too much TV.

I'm losing my patience with it.

I am also losing my patience with reading.  It used to be that I could finish a book that I wasn't too crazy about, in hopes that it would improve at some point.  I wouldn't want to miss its redeeming qualities.  Now, if I read 30-70 pages and I'm just not into it, or say a kitten dies for no particular reason, I give up on finishing it.  You could say I'm either too tender hearted or entirely too slow of a reader.

I want every book to be the Hunger Games, fast paced, hard to put down, with characters I like.  So many books keep trying to make me swallow these exaggerated and irritating versions of human beings that I can't go along with the farce.

However, I should mention, that I don't even know if I would be able to read my favorite authors right now.  I'm not sure if I should blame it on the funk or if it's just how I am now that I have a baby.  Who knows.

So, today JG and I will venture out of the house (which we haven't been doing much of) and go look at fabric or something.  Fabric has so many redeeming qualities.

The sad thing is I have a stash of fabric I've been hoarding... and I cannot bring myself to actually use it.  It's a terrible compulsion.  I even have a bunch of it laying out in my craft room, I just love looking at it, but just thinking about using any of it brings on a slight anxiety attack.

Which is pathetic.  This is also the reason I try not to allow myself go look at fabric.  For example, I have several prints that I own multiple yards of (2-6 yards), and I can't think of why I spent the money on all of it if I can't bring myself to actually use it.

Booger.

Okay, I better find a reason to pull out of this mess.

I use far too many commas.  Lucky for me if you didn't notice.

Failure & Success

Sewing Failure:

And sewing success:

Making a pattern for a doll is ten times easier than making the pattern for the doll's clothes.  I find it to be a very frustrating process, but I am slowly learning how it works.  Of course, it helps if I add the extra quarter inch into the pattern itself (second set of pictures) rather than trusting myself to do it myself later with the material (first set of pictures)...  

Hey, I'm learning dammit.  Also, working with knit is sort of a pain in the butt, however the dress/slip looks nice and hangs well.  And it fits her without being overly big or too too small.  

Random note: this is what my mornings look like:

Production

I have spent the last two weeks preparing for the Sisters & Friends Boutique (you'll find the address there) my mom is holding at her house in Ogden.  This means I've been making toys like crazy... or, you know, more quickly than I usually do.

Because it normally takes me two weeks to make one thing.

So, please awe in amazement that I made nine, COUNT THEM, nine toys for this boutique.  I know, I am amazing...

Or I just started to have fun making monsters:

These adorable little creatures are available for a $20 adoption fee, which will go toward paying off student loans.

When asked about their future homes, most monsters said, "Please, just get me away from that crazy baby.  She keeps shaking her head and grinning at me..."

I also have two dolls, but I'm trying to figure out their faces:  I think I'm going to have to unpick them and try something else.

They just don't evoke that "ahhhhh, cute" that I was hoping for.

Eh, try, try again.

Also, one last selling point.  If you're still searching for a special gift, and you would like to try and pawn off somebody else's creation as your own, feel free to do so with my toys!

I won't tell a soul.

Making some dolls

I've been making some crafty progress.  I thought I would demonstrate to my IMMENSE audience that I am doing stuff... when JG is napping, at least.

I think getting this far has taken me 6 weeks.  Embroidering the faces takes the longest, mainly because I hesitate about colors and what the face should look like.  Then I do the same thing with the hair, I want it to look right, so it took me a solid week of placing felt, removing, cutting, twisting, and then going with my original idea.

I am a seriously slow creative person, especially when I don't have a due date.  However, my mom is having a mini craft fair at her house in two weeks, so I've got to sew together a whole lot of toys... I wonder how quickly I can do that?  I'll post more about that in a little while.

See how excited I am to have them finished?  Now all I have to do is take weeks to make them underpants and dressess... well, that took me a year with the first one.  So, I guess you'll just have to wait and see how quickly (or, in reality, slowly like frozen molasses) I can get these suckers completed.

Fat Head

See?  JG sort of has a fat head.  It's an adorable fat head, especially with that hat her grandma made, but a fat head non-the-less.

I have been working on creative things... I'm just not very good at taking any pictures of my progress.  I'm in the process of making two new dolls and have a few "monsters" lying around.  This is my doodle of what I wanted it to look like:

And this is how it turned out:

He has a furry brown back and a fleece body and arms with felt "detailing."  His legs stick out kind of funny, but that's what you get the first time you make something.

I think it's kind of cute.  I'm working on the revision.

I don't think Maelly cares.

Blue Ribbon MOTHER-LOVERS!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Yeah! (If you squint past my grinning mug to the chicken with the blue ribbon dangling from his hand, that's what I'm all up in your grill about.)

This week has been interesting.

My cat (the one who is still available if you'd like to purchase him) is in his third week of wearing a cone on his head. Said cone was necessary because he would NOT stop licking his damned maimed foot. So not only have I been caring for JGR, I've also been nursing a sick cat back to health... which is not fun. I have stories... but, I won't share them out of fear of seriously grossing out my small pool of readers.

By the by, my cat has eosinophilic granulomas (warning, the pictures are gross, and he has had this in his mouth, paws, and neck), which requires steroid injections and guarantee's that he will eventually have diabetes. Awesome.

JGR has been refusing naps and bedtime, and screams/cries like crazy when I try to get her to sleep. Joy. It's times like these when I think of how naive high school girls are when they pursue pregnancy in hopes of bearing a bubbly happy baby. (Hey, this happened at my high school.)

Let me tell you, high school girl, do not do it. Babies are freakin' hard, and I've had to push all thoughts of dropping said baby, or throwing said baby, or doing anything un-motherly to said baby out of my head.

I don't want to go to prison.

So it's times like these when I thank the G-O-D that I live near both sets of grandparents and I can pawn her off on them. Er, I mean, have them care for her when I am unable.

She's going through a transition where certain things I'm used to working with her are no longer working. (I have to admit that when I say "things" I mean "boobs," and while they can be one of the last things I turn to, when my boobs don't work, I'm clueless as to how to help sooth her.) So, in hopes of figuring out what the (hell) is going on, we gave her some rice cereal tonight. She'll be five-months-old next week, and she seems to be hungry after I feed her, so why not?

And you know what? Fell asleep like a charm tonight. Cried a bit, but nothing compared to the last few nights.

Now I leave you with some kitty abuse. I don't know how he lives with himself.

These two make me exhausted. I'm going to bed.

Progress and Completion

As promised here are some photo's of what I've been doing crafty-wise. They're not great photo's, but I am pretty pleased with myself regarding the toys themselves.

Here's one Testy-Chicken, the other is on display at the Utah State Fair with a blue ribbon on him. That's right, I said BLUE-FREAKIN'-RIBBON. That means I just won myself three dollars. If you're going to the fair and want to see some of my hand-craftiness, he's in the Zion building sitting on top of Thomas the tank engine. He's blue and buggy. With a blue ribbon...

Anyway, I made these chickens thinking I could get the pattern figured out and make more to sell since I'm at home and penniless now... but they took me forever to make. Not just because I took my sweet time, but also because of all the embroidery. See?

That's called the "chain stitch." So, the price I came up with in my head to charge for one of these buggers is more than any sane person would want to pay, I'm sure. Therefore, I'm thinking I might make the pattern available for purchase. Does that sound interesting to anyone? Anyone interested in making a Testy Chicken?

Okay, and here is the doll I started making...oh, a year ago? I finally figured out a dress pattern (bigger than I thought it would be, but still in the shape of a dress) and feel like I'm making progress on making her look complete. What do you think?

(I really need better photo's, she looks really washed out here and... well, not as neat as I think she is. Maybe having a colorful dress on her will help.)

Oh, yeah, did I mention I'm a blue ribbon winner?

Testy-Chickens

Okay, so you know how I was complaining about not getting anything done for myself, like crafting? Well, I took a stand this week and made sure to make some progress on the chickens while JGR was napping.

BEHOLD:

Two, Two TESTY CHICKENS!

I decided to make toys for babies, and put a mishmash of fabrics together. I also forced myself to use fabrics that I love and have been too nervous to cut into. It may sound odd to those of you who are not obsessed with material, but when you like to make things one tends to... hoard it.

I had to make a rule for myself regarding fabric: I am not allowed to buy more of it until I freaking use what I have.

Anyway, chickens. I love chickens. It's a sick obsession of mine.

Behold what it may look like when finished (without, you know, all the pins):

And it would have two legs. And possibly wings and a tail, but I'm still deciding how much time to put into these.

In the next post I'll post photos of the doll I was working on forever ago. I finished her months ago... but coming up with clothes has been a frustrating process. Basically, I'm not very good at it and I have little patience to get there.

My mom is helping to teach me how to make clothes, but until then she will be in some state of nakedness.