What does?

A lady look like the day after giving birth?

Please note the array of food and drink surrounding me -- I was starving after JGR was born, but of course they wouldn't let me eat for

 quite some time because they didn't want me to be too nauseous.  I think they gave me a poor excuse for a sandwich at first, so the next day I pretty much put whatever was around me in my mouth.  

Very much like a toddler does.

What does a week-old look like in the sweet outfit her dad chose for her?

Sweet giraffe and sweet dinosaur shorts... and yes, these are the "gender neutral" clothes I bought for Brian before JGR came.  To me, gender neutral leans more boy than girl.

And finally, what does JGR look like after pelting her new mother with poo?

If you observe carefully you can see the dark streak in the mesh material and then some on my shorts.  Yes, I removed the diaper and she quite literally blasted me with her poo.  It got all over and I laughed for about ten minutes, unable to re-diaper her because I was shaking so badly with the giggles.  

Babies are sort of gross.

Other than the above events I have been doing practically nothing.  The anemia has limited my activity... it's depressing to think that climbing the stairs is a chore, but the doctor reassured me that in six weeks I should have my strength back, and all of my blood should be back to it's usual reserves after six months.  Awesome.

Okay, I'm going to go nap or eat food now.

Introducing...

JGR!  I would share her name... but something about that creeps me out to share on the big ol' internets.  So, JGR it is for you.  On May 14, 2009, a little baby girl (formerly known as Brian "the fetus"), burst through into the world.  

My water broke around 4:30 AM and we ambled to the hospital around 6 AM.  We had the best nurse at the IMC labor and delivery, Corene, and she helped us get through to the end without an epidural.  I did have some narcotics though, and seriously, the mood lifting ability of

 narcotics is simply amazing.  It made it so I could rest in between contractions and laugh a bit. 

 

Mindy was there to enjoy the fun, along with Alex.  Good times were had.  More later.

Unhappy Pregnant Lady

You know all of those women who swoon over being pregnant?  The kind who enjoy every moment and never want it to end?

I am not one of those pregnant ladies.  Thursday marks my forty weeks and quite frankly I'm done.  I'm ready for the labor portion of this experience.  I'm ready to have my baby and start figuring out how not to kill him -- in other words, learning how to care for the white pasty grub that will be my child.

I'm tired of strangers, friends, and family telling me what I can and can't do.  "Oh!  You're pregnant so you really shouldn't lift that heavy thing" or "Gardening is probably not a good idea."  Um, dudes, I may be immobile, but I am sure as hell not happy about it.  

I am definitely not happy that grass has come up all through my rose garden and garden garden and my body is too awkward to effectively pull any of it.  Normally by this time my fingernails would be caked with dirt and my face would be sunburned from all the time spent focusing on my plants.  I love my plants.  I miss my plants.

So, instead of being in the dirt, I've been making chickens.  I will try to post a picture later.  The do look less like mens genitals... even though Alex still sees the resemblance.  It's one of those things where once you point it out you can never get rid of the picture in your head.  Whoops.

Hopefully my "practice contractions" will soon turn into real ones and I can see what sex Brian is.  Alex is dying to know.  He's also dying for the two weeks off work.

Alright, I'm going to go watch an hour of True Blood on HBO then clean my craft room for Mindy who will be visiting for ten days and sleeping in the midst of all of my material.  Awesome.

hehehe

I'm having a bit of a crappy week. It's connected with my last post... but I felt this comic really emphasized my feeling... and made me laugh out loud. A bit of a warning -- Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is very funny, but nasty and wrong in all the right ways.

DONE**

**warning, the following post complains about graduate school--read at your own risk**

You know, it's funny.  I thought when I finished my MAT program at Westminster I would be so sorrowful and withdrawn, but after this week I am RELIEVED!  

Don't get me too wrong.  I learned a lot from the majority of the professors I had.  I actually adore most of them as they took the time to teach me and make sure I was understanding the information they were feeding me.  Via enema.

But the class they attached to the very end of the program was completely unnecessary and made me a very grumpy student.  I thought Westminster encouraged their professors to teach students to think for themselves, but apparently not.  Not all of them believe it important for us to have our own personal beliefs or to pursue our own interests.

But, really, it's just one.  And that's all the b****ing I will do about that before digging myself a hole.  

Seriously, I woke up at two in the morning and could not fall back to sleep because I was so angry about this.  You should know, like I stated above, all other professors were pretty awesome and I have zero complaints about them.  

Then I had a dream I was giving birth to an elephant and Alex had those plug earrings... I keep having the strangest birthing dreams.  I guess that just emphasizes that I am two weeks away from my due date.  Now that school is done I'm hoping Brian comes earlier so I can spend more time with him before teaching next year.

Which is me being optimistic, since I don't even have a job set up yet.