Eclipse

Ok, ladies, who is up for going with me to make copious amounts of fun of Eclipse when it comes out June 30th?

Hmmmmmmm?

Oh, and I got a job.  I will be an English teacher for 7th, 8th, and 9th graders next year.  It sounds both wonderful and excruciating, but I don't think it would be teaching otherwise.

I look forward to hearing from any takers (and believe me, going to these movies simply to point and laugh is a blast).

New Moon Review

*Spoiler Alert -- if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to know anything about it, then don't read this*

First of all, thank you to those fine ladies who gave an afternoon of their time to a lonely and fast-talking stay-at-home-mom.  I really appreciate it and I had a blast.  Movies are made all the better when there is someone giggling beside you.

Now to the movie.

I was not as disappointed as I thought I would be.  However, I just have to say that I am utterly confused about the whole basis of the movie -- Edward and Bella's "love" for each other.  Why do they love each other?  All they do is whine about it, and what do they do other than fly through trees and make kissing look painful?  (Seriously, each time they kiss it's like they are either going to jump into bed right there, or they are going to die because of the immense electrocuting pain that must transmit through their lips.  Ouch.)

I do like Jacob though, I guess if I knew I had to take a side it would be his... until he starts to whine about his love for Bella.  Why are these guys so possessive of her anyway?  Jacob is sarcastic, cute, cut, funny, and easy going, which is a nice break from Edward's being... so pale faced and... brooding?  I mean, if I had to point at somebody and tag them as Emo, it would be Edward.

Also, when Bella and Jacob are riding motorcycles and she stupidly runs herself into a boulder, why doesn't he give her a helmet and teach her how to ride rather than saying, "No more motorcycles, it's too dangerous."

It drives me nuts how helpless she is, and how this somehow makes her more desirable to vampires and werewolves.  She's breakable!  And a total klutz!  She bleeds a lot!  I love her!  

However, New Moon compared to Twilight was enjoyable and I didn't rudely break out in laughter more than once... or twice?  I appreciate the director making Jacob be shirtless the majority of the film, but Edward needs to keep his shirt on (vampire pastiness is not a good thing).

All in all, I'm glad I went.  I enjoyed myself.  Jen and I think we should get together more often (ladies?).

Okay, I'm beat.  Going to bed now... or to watch a lot of bad tv.  Whatever.

New Moon invitation?

This may sound strange, seeing as how I never got through the Twilight book (mainly because I can't stand listening to a teenage girl whine, and it is NOT romantic for a boy to sneak in your room and watch you sleep -- that's called stalking and is EXTREMELY creepy) but I want to go see New Moon.

Mainly because I had a good time at Twilight.  And, yes, I did burst out in laughter multiple times, but luckily the girls (women, really) I was with weren't bothered by it.  If anything, they shared the moment when the vampire "dad" (can't remember his name...) walked out and looked like a talcum powder covered corpse who wasn't old enough to buy alcohol let alone practice medicine.

So, this is an open invite to those interested in going to see New Moon with me this **weekend (or whatever works).  I can't promise not to giggle or make fun of the movie afterwards.  But if you can find it in your heart to help a mother out, one in desperate need of spending time with adults, then I will be truly grateful.

Thank you.

Sincerely yours,
PoetsHead

**EDIT: As Jessica so correctly pointed out, this movie doesn't actually come out until Nov. 20.  My offer still stands, even if it is a month away.
(If you are interested leave a comment or email me if you have the address.  And if it helps to persuade you, I'll sneak some candy into the movie.)

Bad Movie

Have you seen Babylon A.D.? If you haven't, don't, and if you have you may understand a bit of my following rant.

Have you ever spent time watching a movie, and when it ends you realize how much of your valuable time you just wasted? And you can't figure out where the time went? Say, you may feel like you were somehow knocked out by a wet toilet plunger and woke up two hours later smelling and unaware of your location... Thus was my emotion last night after watching Babylon A.D. with Vin Diesel.

Now, when I first saw the promotion for this movie I thought I would like it, it looked sci-fi and action packed. (You can read the synopsis here, however it may not help.) Now, when I watch a movie I expect to understand the plot and be involved... however, in this movie they keep the plot and story line a SECRET. The first half was action packed, focusing on Vinny protecting some girl who is supposedly special, and how they are being chased and shot at by some religious group.

No, it gets better.

Said religious group wants girl because of her SECRET specialness, even though it is revealed that she is miraculously pregnant with twins (she's a virgin) and now the movie jumps twice, once to before she has said babies and tells Vinny she's going to die, and next with Vinny being a father to two babies, who are, for some reason, from two different races.

THEN THE MOVIE ENDS.

NOTHING IS EXPLAINED! It ends without resolving any plot or story issues, and made me want to hit myself over the head with a toilet plunger.

So, if you ever come across this movie on Netflix or in the video store, WALK AWAY.

Or spit on it.

Whichever.