Bad Movie

Have you seen Babylon A.D.? If you haven't, don't, and if you have you may understand a bit of my following rant.

Have you ever spent time watching a movie, and when it ends you realize how much of your valuable time you just wasted? And you can't figure out where the time went? Say, you may feel like you were somehow knocked out by a wet toilet plunger and woke up two hours later smelling and unaware of your location... Thus was my emotion last night after watching Babylon A.D. with Vin Diesel.

Now, when I first saw the promotion for this movie I thought I would like it, it looked sci-fi and action packed. (You can read the synopsis here, however it may not help.) Now, when I watch a movie I expect to understand the plot and be involved... however, in this movie they keep the plot and story line a SECRET. The first half was action packed, focusing on Vinny protecting some girl who is supposedly special, and how they are being chased and shot at by some religious group.

No, it gets better.

Said religious group wants girl because of her SECRET specialness, even though it is revealed that she is miraculously pregnant with twins (she's a virgin) and now the movie jumps twice, once to before she has said babies and tells Vinny she's going to die, and next with Vinny being a father to two babies, who are, for some reason, from two different races.

THEN THE MOVIE ENDS.

NOTHING IS EXPLAINED! It ends without resolving any plot or story issues, and made me want to hit myself over the head with a toilet plunger.

So, if you ever come across this movie on Netflix or in the video store, WALK AWAY.

Or spit on it.

Whichever.