Through Their Eyes

Over the past nine months I have been a stay-at-home-mom, which means I spend most of my time inside with nobody but myself, JG, and Alex to see me.  Which means I spent little to no time thinking about my appearance or doing much to "keep myself up."  So, when I got a job where I would be standing in front of 14-year-olds I knew I would have to make some wardrobe changes.

Especially in the bra area.

Why?  Well, because I know how much you love to hear about my boobs, let me tell you.  The four nursing bras I bought last year are all in the DDD/F area.  As time goes by your breasts learn how much milk to carry, and gradually they shrink down a bit.  Meaning, my nursing bras (or "feeding harnesses") were doing little in the way of supporting the ladies.  They were almost greeting my belly button on a daily basis.

I became painfully aware of this when I realized that standing in front of a group of 14-year-old boys with my hoots danglin' in the wind and standing at attention (pointy-wise) would not be a good idea.

You may naively ask, Why?

Um, have you met teenage boys?  Do you know what they think about?  Or what new hormones they have coursing through their veins?

To be honest, I was sort of terrified.  If you're a woman you may have experienced the "blank stare" from the opposite sex while walking, or sitting, or standing, or anywhere.  Those glazed over eyes that translate to "What were you saying?  I was distracted by your boobies, I swear they want me to touch them."

Is that going too far?  I just want to communicate to you how I have felt about my boobs over the years.  Sometimes it can work to your advantage, but in no way does it work that way in the classroom.  I had one professor who REALLY needed a better bra.  Her party hats were so distracting that I would get lost thinking about how she needed to cover them up, and then I wouldn't know what she had just said.

All this to say that having good coverage and support is a priceless tool in a teachers arsenal.

So I went to the Lactation Station yet again where I was set up.  I love going there.  LOVE IT.  When I told the owner that I was going to teach teenagers she knew I would want padded bras.  I didn't have to say it.  She knew.

I found three great bras and I'm very pleased.

However.

My boobs are still huge, double D's.  While I try to do my best in making them an understated part in the classroom, there are times when I move or point, or something, and catch someone looking at them.

Oddly enough, it has been the girls I catch.  I can't blame them though, mainly because I just admitted to looking at my professors boobs.

I promise not to write about boobs again for a while.

Hello

I am still here, I'm just mentally exhausted.  I know it may sound strange to you, but my one hour of working every day is taking it out of me.  Today is first day I did not nap with JG, it's nine PM and I am going to bed, where I may just pass out as soon as my head hits my tower of pillows.

Stay tuned for a post on my boobs.  Hey, I can see you rolling your eyes in the back row there, but I can only give you what my head comes up with.

Busy Week

This week started out innocently enough.  JG and I laid back and had a relaxing Monday, where JG got bathed, she napped and I sewed monsters.  It was nice, and I wasn't expecting much of the rest of the week.

Until I received a phone call on Tuesday.

From a principal.

Asking if maybe I would be available to teach one biology class at his charter school for the rest of the year.  And could I meet with him to talk about it?

I think my heart stopped.

I've been obsessing lately over money and how in the world can I get out of the house to maintain my sanity? and this sounded a bit like an answer to my prayers.  If I could get through the meeting/interview without making an ass out of myself... which may be a rare thing for me, especially in my "mommy brained" state.

(Mommy brained: the inability to form sentences or remember big words from degrees you have earned, and a general loss of any social graces you may have had before having a child.)

Amazingly enough, I made it through the meeting without sticking my foot in my mouth, and left the interview very hopeful.  When I got the call from the principal an hour later offering me the job (one class of 18 ninth graders) I was thrilled.  Thrilled.  Still am, as a matter of fact, however it hasn't completely hit me yet.  I've had to pause every now and then to think, "Hey, I'm a Biology teacher now!"

Also, I have a lot of cramming to do.  I passed the test to teach the subject, but I like to be knowledgeable when I'm teaching.  I also have a lot of lesson plans to write.  Oh, man, so much time will be spent planning.  It is so awesome.  Seriously.

And the hours are perfect for me.  Five days a week I go in from 8:30-9:30 AM and teach, and I'm getting paid an additional two hours for prep time, which is very sweet of them to do.  So I'll get paid for seven hours every week.  While that may sound minimal to you, it will get me out of the house, give JG an opportunity to spend time with much loved relatives, and I'll get to be a teacher.  A Biology teacher.



A very big thanks to Joan for dropping my name to this principal, and letting him know I'm endorsed to teach English and Biology.  Apparently that's valued at my new school.





As a congratulations to myself I ordered my light-up LA Gear gold shoes.  They'll be here Tuesday!



I am such a freaking nerd!


A Biology teaching nerd!


Woot.

A dark yearning

Okay.

I have to admit something.

I was watching Ellen the other day.  And, whilst watching Ellen, where she had sent a viewer to the Grammy's gift tent, I saw a pair of shoes that I'm not sure I cannot live without.


Seriously.


Now, I have a couple things to say before I show you the shoes.  First off, I don't believe that buying things will fill some empty chasm in my soul.  I know better.  For that reason I have forsaken buying new clothes whilst being a stay-at-home-mom (I mean, really, my uniform is sleep pants and a sweat shirt, it's HOT and practical).  And, when I eventually get a job, I've made rules as to what professional clothes I can buy and how much.  I don't need a huge wardrobe, just enough so that my students don't make fun of me.  I want them to make fun of me for who I am, not for what I'm wearing.... (Mainly because I remember some of my high school teachers who wore the same thing week after week.)

Secondly, these shoes are on the edge of being horrendously ugly.  And that is exactly how I like my shoes.  I want to be able to pass people and have their faces contort as if asking, "Why God, why make such shoes that make me feel as if I'm going to be smothered by a group of tiny mouth-breathing toe-biters?"

Okay, I doubt that's what they'd really think, but it would put a smile on my face if it did.

And, thirdly, these shoes LIGHT UP.  YES!  You know, like the shoes you see little kids running around in?  YES!  I WANT THEM SO BADLY!

They also remind me of the LA Gear shoes I had when I was 11.  (But those were pretty, not ugly.)

Now, there are two colors I'm trying to decide between (for that other dimension where I can buy anything on impulse) - gold and red.  I'm leaning a bit more towards the gold, mainly because they say GAUDY so well, but the red ones are nice too.

I know, you're asking yourself why you ever bothered to read my blog in the first place.  But it's about to get better.

The gold ones have pink lights (in the heel!) and the red ones have red lights, of course.

Now can you see how crazy I am?  The kind of crazy that longs to spend $100 bucks on a pair of hideous gold shoes that have pink lights and light up with ever step I take?  I have to keep reminding myself I am going to be 30 next month, and are these really the type of shoes a 30 year-old would wear?









What?

I STILL want them...

I just want one night where I know I will sleep a straight 8 hours, where I won't wake up to pee, or JG won't wake up and need me for something, or the dog won't wake up and need to go outside to pee, or the cone-head cat won't need to sleep next to me under the covers and cleaning himself.

I just want one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Just.  One.

It won't happen.  But I thought I would put it out into the chaos of the universe and see if it could happen.

Soon, maybe?











Hey, in three months I can eat all the doughnuts and ice cream I want.  So, if you see me in June sometime with powdered sugar and chocolate around my mouth, calmly remove yourself from the situation.  I can't promise anything about my behavior.