Making some dolls

I've been making some crafty progress.  I thought I would demonstrate to my IMMENSE audience that I am doing stuff... when JG is napping, at least.

I think getting this far has taken me 6 weeks.  Embroidering the faces takes the longest, mainly because I hesitate about colors and what the face should look like.  Then I do the same thing with the hair, I want it to look right, so it took me a solid week of placing felt, removing, cutting, twisting, and then going with my original idea.

I am a seriously slow creative person, especially when I don't have a due date.  However, my mom is having a mini craft fair at her house in two weeks, so I've got to sew together a whole lot of toys... I wonder how quickly I can do that?  I'll post more about that in a little while.

See how excited I am to have them finished?  Now all I have to do is take weeks to make them underpants and dressess... well, that took me a year with the first one.  So, I guess you'll just have to wait and see how quickly (or, in reality, slowly like frozen molasses) I can get these suckers completed.

New Moon Review

*Spoiler Alert -- if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to know anything about it, then don't read this*

First of all, thank you to those fine ladies who gave an afternoon of their time to a lonely and fast-talking stay-at-home-mom.  I really appreciate it and I had a blast.  Movies are made all the better when there is someone giggling beside you.

Now to the movie.

I was not as disappointed as I thought I would be.  However, I just have to say that I am utterly confused about the whole basis of the movie -- Edward and Bella's "love" for each other.  Why do they love each other?  All they do is whine about it, and what do they do other than fly through trees and make kissing look painful?  (Seriously, each time they kiss it's like they are either going to jump into bed right there, or they are going to die because of the immense electrocuting pain that must transmit through their lips.  Ouch.)

I do like Jacob though, I guess if I knew I had to take a side it would be his... until he starts to whine about his love for Bella.  Why are these guys so possessive of her anyway?  Jacob is sarcastic, cute, cut, funny, and easy going, which is a nice break from Edward's being... so pale faced and... brooding?  I mean, if I had to point at somebody and tag them as Emo, it would be Edward.

Also, when Bella and Jacob are riding motorcycles and she stupidly runs herself into a boulder, why doesn't he give her a helmet and teach her how to ride rather than saying, "No more motorcycles, it's too dangerous."

It drives me nuts how helpless she is, and how this somehow makes her more desirable to vampires and werewolves.  She's breakable!  And a total klutz!  She bleeds a lot!  I love her!  

However, New Moon compared to Twilight was enjoyable and I didn't rudely break out in laughter more than once... or twice?  I appreciate the director making Jacob be shirtless the majority of the film, but Edward needs to keep his shirt on (vampire pastiness is not a good thing).

All in all, I'm glad I went.  I enjoyed myself.  Jen and I think we should get together more often (ladies?).

Okay, I'm beat.  Going to bed now... or to watch a lot of bad tv.  Whatever.

If you thought your day was bad...

Were you pooped on?

JG set me up today.  I thought she had a loaded diaper, but it was just a dirty fart.  So I removed the diaper, cleaned her off.

Now, when she's on the table she likes to grab her feet and eat her socks, which angles her bottom up, and makes her appear to be adorable.

While reaching under her changing table for a new diaper,  that's when she let loose a fountain of feces that arced up into the air and splattered on the towel.  She rested a second and then dirty farted, spraying my shirt with poop.

My child pooped on me.

The best part is that wasn't the end of it, she was merely reloading.  The next squirt missed the towel entirely and hit the edge to the table (thank Jesus there's a lip there, or I would of had poop EVERYWHERE).

The worst part is I am still wearing the poop covered shirt.  I looked down and realized the shirt was already stained... and just kept wearing it.  I know, I am disgusting.

But she's the one who let loose.

Stinky baby.





















**Okay, so I emailed people about New Moon, but only got one response (hey Starlynn!), so if you're still interested in joining me (stay-at-home diarrhea-mouthed mom) reply to the email (if you got it) or send a new email... or whatever.  We're looking at Saturday, matinee time sometime.

Let them eat cake!

Ladies and Gentleman, the joy of joys has occurred in my home today.

Wait for it.

I baked a friggin' cake.

Milk free.

Full of delicious.  Little tasty blueberries floating gaily through the fluffy sponge of vanilla goodness.  Covered in frosting.  So much happiness generated on my tongue in one sitting.

Seriously, folks, I am a cake person and it has been killing me to go without.  Chocolate is one thing, it gives me heartburn anyway, so I can forgo that without much of a problem.  But cake?  No.

No.  No. No.

The best part is that I found the mix at Albertson's.  I kept thinking I was going to have to go on some long journey full of adventure and intrigue to find a milk-free cake mix, since that is what the internet kept implying.  Stupid, sly internet, full of the $7 cake mixes that are "guaranteed allergen free" (meaning no eggs, milk, sometimes wheat or gluten).  Implying it's impossible to find elsewhere.

Lucky for me I was on the phone with Mindy (hey Min!) and decided to take the time to check every box of cake mix.  (Seriously, every box.)  And, lo and behold!  Duncan Heines is milk free.  The only allergen in it is "wheat."  I swear they know there are people like me, dying for cake and too damned lazy to make one myself.

(Side note:  I love baking.  Cookies.  Cakes.  Stuff.  But the thought of blaspheming... attempting to make a milk free cake on my own sounded fruitless and aggravating.  I'm an angry person anyway, but to go through the trouble of pouring ingredients in a bowl, mixing them together, and baking it only to have it come out tasting like vomit could send me over the edge... to giving up on cake.)

Cake!  Much deserved after a day when JG only wanted to nap an hour total.  I can't hold it against her though, she's teething or something.

Cake!  (currently digesting in my belly)

Socially Incompetent

Ugh.

Who would have thought interacting with others is a skill? One, if not practiced on a regular basis, that will grow stale and rot. Seriously.

This last Saturday Alex and I were social people -- which is a feat for us. We've spent many recent weekends sitting in our basement watching TV. Mainly old shows from the 70's, sci-fi, and fantasy stuff. Oh, man, the time we have spent in our basement. Poor JG, she hates being in the basement, and we're lazy enough to put up with her hating it.

Good thing she naps for two hour chunks on the weekends. How else could we so thoroughly waste our time?

Anyway.

Instead of being hermits this last weekend, we actually ventured out from our dark, comfortable cave, and broke bread with other people.

This is when I should mention, if you have forgotten, that I am a stay-at-home mother. I spend all of my time with a baby, who luckily for me is growing into a happy, smiling booger. (A 300% improvement over the screaming, crying thing she was for months.)

Now, spending all of this time with a tiny human who doesn't talk, who giggles when I gnaw on her belly, and expects me to carry her everywhere, has changed me.  It has made me socially incompetent.

This does not translate well to adult interactions.

I can't go up to friends and gnaw on their belly's... but, it's almost like I have to remind myself of this. In my head I have to think "okay, adults 'talk' about things, think of some sort of conversation starter."

And when I finally do talk, it's like the flood gates have opened and there is nothing I can do about what comes out and the speed at which it travels.

Friends, I am sorry if I talked your ears off, if I made little to no sense, and if it seemed like I was not finishing any of my thoughts. I didn't realize I was doing any of these things until I reflected on it later.

Oh, man, I am so socially incompetent. I can't even relax when I'm in the company of other people (husband doesn't count). Like any other talent, being social is something that needs to be flexed regularity.

I am so out of practice.

Good thing New Moon is coming out soon.  I have plans!  With people!  (We should probably figure out what time and place and stuff...)

Also, I'm thinking a crafting/sewing night or something would be cool.  Anybody up for that?  At my house?

However, I am warning you now.  I will talk your ear off.  You may leave thinking, "Who is that strange woman who couldn't edit anything before she spoke?  Who thinks poo is funny?"

Oh, yeah, that's me...