Saturday, June 27, 2009

Frustration

Have you ever felt like a bottle rocket? All the pressure is building up inside of your head and chest, but there is absolutely nowhere for it to go? And if you could EXPLODE terrible consequences would ensue?

Argh.

After spending another night with my crying/gassy/colicky baby I am beside myself with frustration. Earlier she finally fell asleep on me, and with high hopes of making dinner I put her in her crib. However, three minutes later she was up and crying again... and continued crying until about thirty minutes ago, when I fed her (she screamed the whole time), gave her gas stuff (miracle fluid) and she belched loudly several times -- then she felt better enough to keep eating and fall asleep on my boob.

Transfer to cradle was successful. Thank God.

Anyway, during this fun marathon, Alex and I argued about why she was crying and he left to go for a walk.

Frustrated. You know, I don't make anything anymore. I should have finished those damn chickens for my sister before JGR came because I have no idea when I will be able to sit down again in my sewing room (which is really the office/craft/guest room) and work on my hilarious testi-chickens. Because, I swear to Jesus, they still look like a guys junk, even with beaks.

So. I'm sitting in the dark trying to calm myself down enough to keep reading the new book, "The City and The City," by China Mieville (whom I love freakishly, this being the fifth book of his I've read... and three of those books bordered or surpassed 1,000 pages). It's like an addiction. But I'm currently... shall we say, unable to focus.

Hope all is going well for you (three) readers. I'm going to go curl up in my den and try to read.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

That doesn't sound very fun. If you ever need a break, I'd be happy to come babysit for you for a few hours so you can have a night out.

renostar said...

I'm so sorry. I totally understand the frustration and would love to help by either babysitting or offering my arm for you to punch really hard.
Hang in there!

Mindy said...

not that i know a damn thing about it, but i'll lie and pretend i do and say that it gets easier. you and alex have to re-adjust everything right now. you have to restabilish comfortable norms and right now those are nowhere in sight. not to mention doing this on no sleep and total mental exhasution. you have to remember that jgr is not a machine and sometimes won't make sense. shes purley reactionary right now and won't respond to things rationally all the time. i'm sorry you get stuck playing clue. its not always a fun game. its not always ms peacock in the conservatory with lead pipe- i bet with babies they make up new players all the time.
take the offer for a babysitter and go make out with your honey on a park bench somewhere or take a really long nap with earplugs and a few earplugs. i bet you both could really really use one full nights sleep. let JGR have her first sleep over with grandma ;' ) hell, ship her to NYC i'll have the kitten watch her ;' )
love you- sorry you day was shitty. i'll repeat my granmas wisdom- it is what it is and its gets better.

Ostler & Co. said...

hey carley! we were just talking about you at work today. stacey was asking if I had heard from you. sounds like you are a great mom . . . i would have dropped the baby off at a relatives :) haha, we sure miss you and talk about you all the time. give jgr a huge smooch from membership!

Steph said...

dude, like anyone else, we would like to babysit. dan is waaay more responsible than me, and is good with infants.

for real, you have my contact info.