Radio Lab is

Awesome. Listen to ALL them here.

I especially like the one on sperm. Don't think nasty, think opportunity and increased genetic spread. Something like that.

Also, the one on After Life is really very good, along with all the shorter story's after it. I am a tad obsessed with death (and zombies) and appreciated the look into what may or may not be there after we die. This one seemed less to do with science and more to do with hypothetical possibilities, but it still made me think.

Which is why I like listening to them so much.

Huh

There is nothing like putting a fresh diaper on JGR just to have her poop in it two minutes later.

This has been happening all day.

Swear to Jesus this kid never stops pooping sometimes.

I am an Addict

Of FOOD.

We went to Carl's Jr. the other day and I got the new Teryaki Six Dollar Burger. Now, in years and months past I would eat about 3/4 of this behemoth and feel sick for an hour or so.

Not so anymore. I ate the whole thing, along with some of Alex's french fries, then I was hungry for more. Yes, I ate the Six Dollar Burger, and then thought of what else might fit into my gullet.

I think I drank grape juice when we got home...

Never in my life has eating to painful bloating felt so good. This is how I know it's an addiction. Also, I get really cranky if I haven't eaten in a while.

And I am fiercely protective of my food. I used to be a sharer, but now if someone looks at my plate sideways I practically growl and tell them to find their own food.

It's true, you can totally ask Alex.

I'm assuming I am like this because I am supposed to eat an extra 500 calories a day to nurse JGR. Now, since I've had to cut milk products entirely from my diet, I've had to be creative about extra calories... okay, creative for ME. Usually I am a cheese fiend, but having to cut that out has taken away one of the easiest ways to add extra calories, so I find myself adding fried eggs to things.

Like the roast beef sandwich I ate yesterday. It was delicious.

I've been drinking a lot of juice too, the 100% version though, not any of that "added suger" B.S. Seriously, why add sugar to an already sugary substance?

Back on point, we had barbeque pulled-pork sandwich's tonight and I ate two. With a glass of grape juice. I'm pretty full, but it feels like I could stuff something else in there.

I'm thinking I'll have a popsicle, or an apple. I would have ice-cream, but thanks to the offspring that's off menu.

Why I love blogging

It allows me to be lazy. I love that I can write an entry and people I talk to on a regular basis will read it, making it so that I will not have to relate the same story over and over again (which I hate doing, especially because the story seems less and less genuine every time I tell it).

This allows conversations to either be efficient, or help them along so we can discuss other details. I love that.

And just for the hell of it, here is a picture of me putting JGR in the ocular cavity of an elephants skull.

Firsts

Now, I know some of you won't find this as amazing as I do (Stephanie), but JGR ROLLED OVER today. It was during our daily tummy time session (I know, doesn't it sound so exciting) and she just rolled over.

Now, for those of you who don't have babies, let me put this into some sort of perspective. Imagine that you've been carrying around a lump of fat for the past three months, and it really doesn't do much except demand that you carry it around. This lump of fat at first glance appears to be cute, but then it continuously fills diapers with feces and pee, spits up (read vomits) cheesy looking stuff on your favorite shirt, and to top it all off cries when you're on your last nerve. (It is a loving last nerve, however...)

So, when this "adorable" lump of fat starts learning how to manage its appendages by grabbing things, pulling said things to her mouth (she did that yesterday) and then ROLLING OVER, maybe you can understand my amazement.

However, when I tried to get her to roll over again, she got angry and demanded to be picked up.

Hey, rolling over the first time is a great feat! Especially for a lump of fat.

Bad Movie

Have you seen Babylon A.D.? If you haven't, don't, and if you have you may understand a bit of my following rant.

Have you ever spent time watching a movie, and when it ends you realize how much of your valuable time you just wasted? And you can't figure out where the time went? Say, you may feel like you were somehow knocked out by a wet toilet plunger and woke up two hours later smelling and unaware of your location... Thus was my emotion last night after watching Babylon A.D. with Vin Diesel.

Now, when I first saw the promotion for this movie I thought I would like it, it looked sci-fi and action packed. (You can read the synopsis here, however it may not help.) Now, when I watch a movie I expect to understand the plot and be involved... however, in this movie they keep the plot and story line a SECRET. The first half was action packed, focusing on Vinny protecting some girl who is supposedly special, and how they are being chased and shot at by some religious group.

No, it gets better.

Said religious group wants girl because of her SECRET specialness, even though it is revealed that she is miraculously pregnant with twins (she's a virgin) and now the movie jumps twice, once to before she has said babies and tells Vinny she's going to die, and next with Vinny being a father to two babies, who are, for some reason, from two different races.

THEN THE MOVIE ENDS.

NOTHING IS EXPLAINED! It ends without resolving any plot or story issues, and made me want to hit myself over the head with a toilet plunger.

So, if you ever come across this movie on Netflix or in the video store, WALK AWAY.

Or spit on it.

Whichever.

New Plan

Giving that I spent a year of my life getting a masters degree, and spending enough to purchase a black-market organ in China on said degree, I thought I would be teaching this fall.

However, since the economy sucks and many school districts haven't been able to hire what they need, it looks like I will not be teaching. Bugger. So, for all those loving people who keep asking me about when I'll be getting a job... stop asking, it sort of depresses me. This is mainly because I was really excited to teach, to have a place to go everyday and to feel like I was succeeding at what I wanted to do.

Yet, at the same time I kept trying to think about what I would do with JGR, having to find daycare, how I would pump at work and when, and then how in hell I would deal with going from school stress to home stress (read grading homework and then taking care of baby and house).

So, in reality I'm sort of relieved. I'm still stressed about my mountain of debt, but my loving husband says that we should be good for the next year. Therefore, I will continue being a full-time mom... which, honestly, scares the shit out of me. I don't know what I'm doing, but I figure I'm getting better every day. JGR is getting to be a better baby too, now that I've started to figure out what she's allergic to and cutting it out of my diet.

Oh, man, I miss cookies, but I guess I can miss teaching for a year. At least I get to stay home for a good reason.

Formula + Baby =

Screaming, and lots of it.

This is what happens when you lapse in giving your baby a bottle and before you know it she's refusing to eat from it. Alex spent half of Saturday spraying formula into her mouth to get her to eat, but thankfully we figured out a trick and by the end of the day she was eating from the bottle.

She wasn't happy about it. Every time I held her she eyed my boobs and tried to nestle in them... but I told her that her guts needed time to heal and as horrible as it was she would have to endure.

Yes, this is the way I speak to my 11-week-old.

Three days of hypoallergenic formula, three days of tired clingy baby, and three days of the most stinky boiled-spinach looking poo you may have ever seen. (I don't know what kind of poo you've seen, I can't make that assumption.) If there was any blood in it there was no way to tell, it was so dark and thick. Nasty. However, it was also three days of a calm JGR because allergens weren't going through and tearing up her guts.

So, now it's Tuesday and I've started an elimination diet to find out what she's allergic to. This means I will only be eating foods on the safe list (foods nobody is allergic to, like rice) and slowly mixing in possible allergens to see how she reacts. I'm pretty sure dairy is on her allergic list, but wheat may be on there too. I will know soon enough.

Now, why go through the trouble? Why not just keep feeding her formula?

Mainly because of the power a boob holds over a baby, and because I missed it like crazy. JGR didn't understand the bottle, and I'm too lazy when it comes to having to make her wait while I mix it up so she can eat. Seriously, bottle/formula feeding is a lot of work and I commend any woman who does it. Sure, my boobs ache and my nipples are raw, but that makes one happy JGR.

(One who refused to get off my boob this morning when I could finally give it to her again. Could you imagine if adults were like this? Oh, wait, they're called men.)