Life's Questions

I'm freaking out a little bit.  I have my last Westminster paper to write, a five page behemoth about my "personal journey and development as a teacher from the beginning to the end of the MAT program."  

Um, seriously?  Is it natural for my school to need to know so much about my feelings and such?  This is on top of the journaling and two other papers asking me to talk about how my view of culture has changed, and how I'm so much more of an open minded person now.

I actually talked to a fellow student who sounds like they hate more now.  Hate more now after a year of having our students "funds of knowledge" shoved down our throats.  Bah.

Anyway, this is the last paper I have to write and then I have to put a portfolio together, which isn't difficult since it's all stuff I've completed. 

The problem is... what then?  I don't have a job yet, so I get to worry about what I'll be doing next year.  Last year all the MAT students had jobs lined up, but with the economy the way it is it looks like my cohort will be waiting a bit longer.

Also, once I'm done with this stuff, what then?  I have two weeks until my due date with Brian, and my doctor said yesterday that it's entirely possible that I reach it.  What in god's name do I do for TWO WEEKS!  I have no job.  I am uncomfortable all of the time.  I am trying to sew, but my motivation wavers.

At least the house is clean.  I will try to keep that up.  My best friend Alicia visited over the weekend and Alex and I had to make the house presentable for her -- we had to eliminate many little cat hair tumbleweeds that had started to get aggressive.  

So, now, after today is over... what the hell do I do with my life?  I guess I just continue to gestate Brian?  I have crafty things to finish... I have a couple of chicken bodies that look like men's genitalia.  

Okay, I've got to write that paper now.  Go on with your life.  You're probably doing something so much more productive...