Mommy Blogger

Let me start by saying I never intended to be a "mommy blogger." However, looking back, it was bound to happen. I had a freakin' baby, after all.

I'm just hoping that I don't come across as the "look at my perfect life, my perfect baby, don't you just wish you were me?" kind of mommy blogger. Reading those kinds of blogs turn my stomach, especially because I don't believe in perfect.

Which makes what I'm about to say sound a bit hypocritical.

A while back we were given a gift certificate for the services of a professional photographer. Not only am I excited, I am nervous as hell. I've only had professional photos once, for my high school senior pictures, but I didn't end up with any of them (it's a dull story). Even my wedding photo's were taken by my brother-in-law (who did an excellent job and I love all of them, and I am convinced he took way better photo's than a professional would have).

I am hoping to end up with photographs that make me look good - because, honestly, I never like the way I look in pictures. I'm too pasty, my nose is too long, my smile looks like a midget just bit me in the ass.

Never in my life have I fretted so much about "outfits" and color and how I will appear. Looking through the pictures this professional takes... so many of the families exude the "look at how perfect we are" aura that I hate so much. And in the last week I found myself straining to be like that, trying to find the colors and outfits that would make us look different -- other.

Then it hit me tonight when Alex said, "We don't have to look more than we are, we just need to look like us."

And you know what? That smashing navy blue top I bought, that is beautiful and feminine and makes me look pretty curvy? That's not me. It's almost professional me (teacher me), but not me. And it doesn't look good with any of my jeans, which I plan on wearing for the pictures.

Plus we'll be outside (in Millcreek Canyon, because studios look and feel false and stodgy to me), and there's no way that top will keep me warm enough to make it worth it.

So I'm going to wear a green sweater my husband compared to something you'd find at the Army/Navy surplus. I like it, I'm comfortable in it, and it will show me for who I am. I will also probably wear my orange bowling shoes. Just for a flash of color.

And I'll take the fancy navy blue shirt back, Alex told me to keep it, but really, when am I going to have a reason to wear it? I've gotten into the habit of wiping JGR's spit-up away with my shirt, and as soon as I have on anything dark it's covered in cat hair. It's an animal owner's (read adoptive parent's) rule, "Thou shalt be covered in the fine hairs your animals produce."

Also, I think I'd rather not feel guilty about buying the lotion I want. So the shirt will be returned.

So the last thing I need to wrap up is what to have JGR wear. We're leaning toward farmer baby (overalls) with a sweater or something warm. Something that says, "I snuggle with a tarantula and a squid." (Hey, this kid has great taste in toys.)

Hopefully we'll get photographs that represent us, not some through-the-looking-glass representation of us.

Because perfect may be nice, but in no way is it fun.