Potential

I left school today feeling a combination of horrible and horrified.

I have a variety of students in class, from the exceptionally talented and smart, to the... how should I put it? Lazy and dumb?  But, they're not really dumb, just too lazy to do anything about it.

In that mix is a girl, let's call her "Girl Student," who is exceptionally bright, full of "potential."  And, by "potential," I mean that if she just put her back into it she would be a straight A student with colleges panting at her door offering up scholarships.  In my minds eye I see her as a math professor, because I think she could go as far as she wanted to.

However.

Before I say anything, let me emphasize that I like this girl.  Yes, she has mouthed off, and yes she is full of angry energy, and yes she thinks she is a bad-ass, but I like her.  Angry 14-year-olds can grow up to be well rounded and adjusted people, just ask yours truly.

Horrified.

Girl Student came into to class early today, looking all relaxed and happy, which made me happy for her.  Until she stood close to me to complain about being hungry and I inhaled.  What did I smell?  What does the rest of the class smell and keep mentioning/complaining about the rest of the period?

Skunk.

Now, Girl Student claims to not smell this, even though I know it is emanating from her.

Huh? those of you with soapy clean pasts may be asking, while those of us who have slid through the mud and gotten it caught in our teeth sigh "oh."

Let me catch you up.  Girl Student reeked of skunky pot (I don't know if that means it was really good weed, or cheap-ass weed).  I felt a combination of things like, "Yeah, relaxing is great," and "Holy mother my 9th grader is high" and "What do I do?  Who do I tell, if anybody?"

Horrible.

Around this time the original biology teacher comes in, let's call her Mrs. Biology.  She hears the complaints about the skunk and she smells it.  So, feeling a tad cornered with my knowledge I spill the beans to her in the hallway.

I tattletaled like a kindergartner who doesn't know the playground rules yet.  When we went back into the classroom I could see Girl Student looking at me like she knew what I had done... but, what else was there I could do?

I feel a little sick.  Mrs. Biology said she would tell/talk to the counselor, and now it's out of my hands.  I just keep thinking how Girl Student is on such the wrong track, and with each mistake she makes she is losing more and more of her foothold on the future.  Sometimes failures and mistakes are easy to move on from, sometimes they're a boon to learn from, but allowing yourself to treat yourself like shit is well... It's just stupid.

I just want to take Girl Student home and feed her ice cream.  So many angry/hurting/destructive students are lacking healthy home lives.  I feel horrible because Girl Student and I were building a good relationship, where maybe she was beginning to trust me, and I ratted her out for smoking pot.

Hopefully, it's for her own good.